First chemo session was Monday. Boring and uneventful.
Tuesday, felt great. In a good mood and even energized. Ran a couple errands, did some freelance writing work I needed to do, and relaxed some. Today, still no side effects except I'm having a little trouble "getting the old river to flow" as I sit here on the porcelain throne. I think I feel different somehow since Monday. Something just feels different ... inside Maybe? Maybe this whole thing got a little more real this week? Or just moved to a new level? I don't know, but I remember feeling strangely upbeat Monday night. It was like id won a contest or something. They threw chemo at me and my body took the punch and handled it really well. I wrote the next day that instead of feeling like having the chemo port implanted might be the beginning of the end, it was a new beginning.
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Physically, I have been lucky since my cancer diagnosis back on April 7.
Mentally, well ... that's another story. The past couple of days have been rough. When someone is dealing with cancer, it always seems to be called a "battle." I used to think that word was a little overused, but I'm starting to see now that it fits pretty well. So far, I've escaped most all of the physical problems, but the mental side of it has definitely been a struggle. Everyone says staying positive is one of the most important parts of all this, but I tell you what, it ain't easy. On Monday, they are going to implant a chemo port in my chest, and one week after that is the first of two chemo sessions that my MD Anderson oncologist recommended and I agreed to. The whole idea of having a chemo port is terrifying enough in itself. It kind of feels like giving up control or something. For nearly 10 months, I mostly dodged a bullet, undergoing a couple of fairly easy surgeries and hoping that took care of everything. Well, it didn't take care of everything. Since I agreed to the chemo, I've basically been quietly freaking out -- sometimes not so quietly. I've pretty much been a bundle of nerves. I'm really irritable and have gone off on people or nearly gone off on someone a few times. But I think I'm gradually coming to terms with it all. Last night as I lay in bed, all kinds of scenarios were going through my head. I was praying a little bit and then I told myself, "Well, no matter what happens, you're giving it a helluva shot." Then, I laughed. It's gonna be OK. One day at a time ... Well, I've been to Spain three times to trek the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage.
One trip, my Norwegian friend, Tom, and I spent the night just across the border from Spain in France at a woman's house who rented beds to pilgrims, then we crossed the Pyrenees mountains the next morning on our way to Pamplona. Another trip, I took an overnight train from A Coruna on the northwest coast of Spain to Barcelona, met a couple of young Spanish dudes early on during the trip, smoked some wacky tabacky out on the platform during a late-night stop, and spent the rest of the ride drinking beer in the dining car. I spent a week in Costa Rica. Drove Route 66 from downtown Chicago to Santa Monica. Learned to pole vault the summer I turned 60 and later placed 7th at the National Senior Games in Albuquerque. Wrote a book, found a small publisher who liked it, and started a publishing career that has resulted in 20 books (I think) listed on Amazon and other outlets. Some books have earned best-seller ranking. A few of my greatest adventures. Now, it looks like I'm about to embark on an adventure that tops them all. Chemotherapy for cancer. Yeah, I know ... I still can't quite believe it. I always said if something like this happened to me, I would never take chemo. I have friends now who say the same thing. Well, that's easy to say, but the game changes when a doctor says "the C word." Everything changes. So, in a week-and-a-half, I will volunteer to let someone infuse toxic chemicals into my veins, in hopes of eradicating this shit. My MDA Anderson oncologist says we are still looking at a cure, and with the type of cancer I have, it seems like the right move. Let the fun begin ... Nearly 9 months ago, I found a small, hard knot in my right thigh and it was found to be something called carcinoma with squamos cells, and later a carcinoma with unknown primary.
The malignant tumor was removed and no other treatment done because nothing else was showing up in what they call PET scan. Then, a fancy blood test that was shipped out and took a while to come back showed something called "circulating tumor DNA" in my system. Not so good. So now, the oncologist at MD Anderson has recommended two chemo treatments, followed by more blood work and another PET scan. The idea of chemo is terrifying, but I don't know what else to do. I'm doing all kinds of alternative stuff, all kinds of supplements, teas, lotions, potions, different things. But to take a chance and go 100-percent alternative treatment instead of medical treatment at the country's no. 1 cancer hospital is something I'm just not willing to do. So I'm going to do both. Happy New Year, y'all. Going to be an interesting year. I always say my grandpa would roll over in his grave if he knew we were buying and drinking bottled water.
You're doin' what? That shit comes outta the faucet, don't it??? Anyway, today's sermon is about drinking water. God didn't create water just to swim in. You're supposed to drink it, too. A LOT of it!!! There are all kinds of different opinions and recommendations, but according to ol' John Henry, you should be drinking close to a gallon of water a day. Sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Well, it's really not. How much is the average bottle of water? 16 ounces, right? OK, a gallon is 128 ounces, so divide 128 by 16 and you get ... 8 bottles. Still sounds like a lot, huh ... Here's what you can do: first thing in the morning, throw down one or two bottles while you make your coffee or whatever you do while you're wiping sleep from your eyes. Now, you've only got six more bottles left. You're not drinking sodas, right, so 5 or 6 more bottles should be doable. Personally, I'm not a big fan of water, but it's pretty easy to drink quite a bit working out at the gym or the park. Any other time, water kinda sucks, but I found something that helps me enjoy it a little more. I get those quart bottles of alkaline water, and I add the juice from a lemon and a few drops of liquid Stevia. Fresh-squeezed lemonade!!! So that's the message for today -- drink water. If you're not already drinking enough, start working on it. Bottoms up!!! OK, it's been a little while
Since the word of the day here was "Gratitude." Well, today's the day. A couple weeks ago, I was headed home from Houston and a two-day visit to MD Anderson Cancer Center for my first three-month blood work and screening. All went swimmingly until I hit this little podunk town out in the middle of nowhere on the way back that is apparently one of the Top 10 speed traps in the great state of Texas. I was minding my own business going through this little blink-and-you'll-miss-it metropolis, when I saw a cop car parked on the other side of the highway, facing the opposite direction. I glanced down and my cruise control had me crawling along at 54 mph, a little above the speed limit but usually not enough to get anyone's attention. Except this guy. I saw him in my rearview mirror turn around across the highway and start coming after me, lights flashing. What the hell? No effin' way, yo? He asked me, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Well, the only effing thing it could be is speeding, I thought, but I wasn't speeding, so why don't you tell me? I didn't really say that. I said, "Well, I have an idea, but I was only going 54." He said, "Actually, I clocked you at 53, but there's a school zone and the speed limit between 3:30 and 4:30 Monday through Friday is 35 mph." You gotta be shittin' me. I thought about pulling the cancer card, telling him I was happily on my way home after getting a clean report, maybe distracted by the good news I was packing, and he'd cut me some slack. Think again. Besides, throwing that card for something like a traffic ticket could bring bad juju in my direction. So today, I went back to this run-down little hole-in-the-wall to turn in a bunch of paperwork and request being able to take defensive driving, which was approved. I've done this at least once before over the years, and even though you take defensive driving so the ticket won't be on your driving record, you still have to pay these fairly exorbitant "court costs," which is ridiculous since you don't even go to court, but nothing you can do about it. There was a time when a big-ass ticket like this one (speeding in a school zone) would put a serious dent in ol' John Henry's finances. Remember, I used to buy $10 "maypop" tires back in the day, and I probably would have had to request a payment plan for those court costs I mentioned. This time, the very nice court clerk asked me if I wanted to pay the court costs today, and I said, sure, which I did. That's a bunch of Benjamin Franklins that I could have used for something else -- probably spent frivolously, but, hey -- but it really is a blessing to have enough money in my pocket to take care of it. So ... things to be grateful for today: Money to pay my ticket. A vehicle and full tank of gas to go take care of the damn ticket. Not getting another ticket on my way there and back. A relaxed day for setting up some appointments for next week, working on some stories for the paper, and possibly even trying for a 15-minute nap. OK, and go. What're you grateful for today? This week's them is ... "It's Never Too Late."
One of my personal training clients at the gym is a 96-year-old dude and another is a 75-year-old gal. Both are amazing. Bernard has some pretty serious mobility issues (understandable for 96) but he listens carefully and does everything I ask him to do. We've had to make some adjustments as we go along, since some exercises just don't work for him, but we concentrate on building some strength, improving mobility, and having better balance. Donna works hard and does it all with a big ol' smile on her face. On Tuesdays, we end the session with a medicine ball toss and stretching. We stand about 10 feet apart and toss a 6-pound ball back and forth. It's a good little exercise for upper body strength, hand-eye coordination, and maintaining balance. Today, after some triceps cable extensions, I said, "OK, all we have left is your favorite exercise. Care to guess what that is?" "That damn ball," Donna said, and we both laughed. We threw chest passes back and forth 60 times and she had a smile on her face the whole time. Moral of the story? It's Never Too Late -- what else? Let's see ... the good news is the bad knee is not so bad lately. A little stiff and slightly painful at times, but recovers quickly after a workout, so I think I'm back on my way to some decent vaulting again.
The bad news??? I don't think there is any bad news. I was a little concerned after Saturday's sprint workout at the park, when at one point going through some hurdles, my right kneecap sort of tweaked when my foot hit the ground, and the little thigh muscle on the inside (vastus medialis?) seemed a little angry. The knee itself was fine, but now I'm thinking, if I go and hurt both knees, then I'm really in trouble. It's hard enough trying to train and work out and lose weight and practice vaulting with one sore knee. I don't think I could do it with two. So I went to the gym Sunday for a light workout, and did some myofascial release rolling on both quads. Grabbed a small 40-pound barbell and rolled it slowly up and down each thigh, as I sat on a flat bench. The left quad seemed in pretty good shape -- no painful tights areas to speak of -- but the right side was full of knots. Oh, brother, here we go. When I went in today for more strength training, I started off with some incline bench, and in between sets, I rolled both quads several times again with the 40-pound bar, and the left side is happily smooth and pain-free. The right side still had some knots in it, but I did some box jumps, leg extensions, hamstring curls, and a few sets on the abductor and adductor machines, and everything was fine. I have my first physical therapy appointment Friday, and I think if I can continue to roll and stretch my legs consistently, things are gonna be OK. Positive thinking, and all that ... Tomorrow is going to be a stretching, rolling, and low-bar core day, followed by some vault drill practice on Wednesday. See y'all later ... OK, after some time off to let my knee completely rest, I decided yesterday to go ahead and give it a good test.
I took my six-inch hurdles, my weighted sled, and my pole vault poles down to the park and had a nice, little hour-long sprint workout. After warming up and stretching for a while, I did five sprints with the sled, six runs through the hurdles, six walking pole drops, six pole carries through the hurdles, then four more hurdle runs. After that, I did three 10-meter sprints, three 20-meter sprints, and three 30-meter sprints. On the way home, I stopped and bought a bag of ice for a 20-minute ice bath, just in case, but the knee felt great, and I was really happy about that. Today, everything was still fine and so I headed to the gym to do some upper body and core stuff. I didn't do anything leg-related, but by the time I made a trip to Walmart and got home about two hours later, my knee was hurting pretty good. I got another bag of ice and soaked in the bathtub for 20 minutes again, but it still hurts a lot more than I'd like. Kinda sucks .... I sent a message to the doc who injected me three weeks ago and asked what, if anything, we can do. I remember something about trying a different kind of injection, but I also remember something about 90 days in between injections. So, we'll see how it goes ... Another day; another brick in the wall ...
Starting my second week of recuperation after the ultrasound knee injection two Fridays ago, so it was off to the gym this morning for an upper-body and core workout. My first legs routine was going to be Saturday, but it looks like I'm going to postpone that a little bit until I get back from visiting my dad down in Houston. He is 84 years old, and not doing very well, health-wise. One thing I've been working on is pull-ups (machine-assisted). I've never been able to do pull-ups, and it finally occurred to me to try doing the negative portion of the pull-up, to help build strength for that movement. So that was my first exercise today. I stood on a step-up platform, grabbed a high bar, palms facing away, and pushed off, arms bent, trying to hold myself up as gravity pulled the other direction. Mostly, it was a slow descent, but it was good. I did two more reps like that, and before too long, I'll be able to hold myself up at the top, and then start working on lowering a little bit, then pulling back up. Look out latissimus dorsi! After that, I did six sets of hanging leg raises, again on the high bar. I'm already getting stronger at these, but today my hands were slipping on this smooth metal bar the last couple of sets. Maybe some gloves are in order. A friend who was doing chin-ups across the way then showed me a routine on the Smith machine that I think is going to be helpful, too. Laying on my back on the floor, underneath the barbell, legs extended with feet propped up on a step-up platform, grabbing the bar with palms facing in, and doing horizontal chin-ups. I was able to do eight reps this way. Good stuff. After that, I did some bent-over dumbbell rows, dumbbell shoulder press, triceps press, side laterals, front laterals, rear laterals, narrow grip standing rows, cable flyes, and finished with three sets of ab wheel roller. Pretty good workout. Another brick in the wall. And, as always, here is the requisite pitch for my book, "Finally Fit," the story of my pole vaulting journey that began around the time I turned 60 years old. Find it HERE. Ciao, y'all ... |
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